It was Saturday night, I wasn’t working and had some money in my account. What did that mean? Tash and I were going out out!
Here we are with our glad rags on:
We decided to head to the city and Scary Canary was the club of choice. We were in the queue for no more than five minutes when we attracted the opposite sex; five guys started chatting to us and ‘convinced’ us to leave the long queue to go to an old mans pub. Since we didn’t have any money we thought this was a great opportunity to get some free booze! So we headed to a place called Sweenys and started chatting to our new friends. Result! A round was bought for us, so we sipped away at our free wines. The guys were nice enough and we thought all was good. Oh how wrong we were! As we neared the end of our drinks the dreaded sentence came from the guys ‘it’s your round now’, damn we thought we got away with it! So Tash and I headed to the bar and split the round between us as we couldn’t afford to buy one ourselves. Then the number of guys with us went from five down to two… Obviously the two that stuck around told the others to go away as they suddenly wanted a double date. Tash and I needed to think fast (Tash has a boyfriend remember and was only being a good wing woman). However, before we could think of an excuse to leave they said we were now heading to a dodgy bar called Star Bar. We left Sweenys and were walking to this new place. We had to think quickly for an escape route. Halfway through the journey we suddenly asked where their friends were and shouted that we were going to find them, suddenly we sprinted away from the creeps and hid in a church. After the coast was clear we went back to Scary Canary.
We finally got into the club and grabbed a few drinks. Here we are looking very merry and sweaty as it was so hot in that place:
We danced and laughed, glad to get our girls night back on track. But, oh wait, the apparent target on our backs saying ‘come chat with us’ illuminated again as Tash spotted two guys heading our way. I liked one of them so she put her wing woman hat on and danced with his friend. The night went on and I was happily dancing/kissing this guy on the dance floor, while Tash worked her role fantastically. Then I got bored and wanted some food. But obviously the guys we were with were the same as the bloody first group and thought they were going to get lucky, so another plan had to be thought up ASAP. Before I could think of one, Tash disappeared so I went on a search for her. I went into the girls toilets and found her looking like a Bond villain. She greeted me with ‘I knew you’d come’ (bear in mind we’re pretty wasted at this point) and she said this was all part of her plan. So basically there are rules to being a wing woman and how to get rid of the guys when the time comes, here they are:
1. When your friend likes a guy, entertain his friend by being friendly and not flirty I.e. Ask where he’s from, his job etc.
2. Then when you want to see how interested the guys are, go to the toilet for a really really long time and if they’re still waiting for you, then you know they want a piece.
3. If you then know that they’re interested and you’re not, dance like a lunatic to put them off completely.
Tash then started to work on stage three and it worked, the friend said she looked like a weirdo and she should calm down. That was the point when we decided to leave. We told them we were going for another drink but instead ran for the door. We were out and guy free at last! But the night wasn’t over, we were hungry…
We made our way to kfc to get some delicious chicken before heading home, but just our bloody luck – the guys we had just ditched were in there too!! Absolutely hammered at this point, Tash decided to go in and stand in front of them shouting my name on purpose. I stealthy grabbed our food and ran to a secluded corner, we thought we got away with it until Tash’s guy came up to us and began acting all weird. My guy didn’t approach us as he knew he was being ditched. So we politely said goodbye and ran for the bus home.
We were finally back in coogee and away from all creeps. Tash decided to wake Ben up at 4am and tell him all the gossip, which I’m sure he loved haha.
The next day, Ben prepared a full fry up for the two broken girls staying with him and we dug in. We had:
- Scrambled eggs
- Spaghetti hoops
- Hash browns
After that feast, we decided to make the most of our day and go up the Harbour Bridge! We weren’t made of money so didn’t do the full walk over, instead we went up the tower to get the exact same view for $15 instead of $400.
Here’s some pics of the bridge:
It was so damn hot in Sydney that day and our hangover still hadn’t shifted so we decided to go for a good old Chinese. I had braised BBQ pork belly, chicken curry and fried rice. It hit the spot.
I had work that night so said goodbye to the pair. I thanked them for the great hospitality (as always) and playing the role of wing woman so great that an Oscar should be awarded.